# relationships

- URL: https://numo.ai/community/emlyijx/relationships
- Language: en
- Author: @wompwomp9000
- Posted: 2024-10-28T12:04:31.449Z
- Tag: question
- Comments: 0
- Likes: 4

how do you guys navigate relationships? i feel like i tend to either read too much into things, or my gut feeling is right but i’m too afraid to say anything because i don’t want to make things awkward or ruin things. it’s happened before and it sucks lol (mainly just due to the embarrassment lol). I’ve never actually been in a relationship before, just stuff where me and another person get on but nothing ever happens.

theres this guy named N. i met him during our welcome week back in september. i decided to go with some friends to a different program’s event that also happened to be the program that N is in. we were sitting together with some other people following along with the demo the upper year students were doing. then N and I (along with another person there) introduced ourselves and started talking about a bunch of different stuff (where we’re from, interests/hobbies, school, programs we’re in). basically all three of us were there way after the event was over. we got each others socials and headed back home. 

after the first week of classes N messages me saying that we haven’t seen each other since welcome week and how it’s funny since we’re in the same faculty and building. we messaged each other every few days and eventually (like a month later lol) we ended up setting up a day to meet up. now this is where i’m conflicted (anxious? nervous?). i like N, and i think he feels the same? at least that’s how it looks from our messages. but it feels like i’m the one always initiating our conversations online. i mean we’re both super busy with school (and we’re both behind lol), so that makes sense, plus people have lives lol. 

i mean at first he was initiating the conversations (he reached out to me first) and (implied) that he wanted to hangout again. so i guess i just don’t really know what to do. we can both see if each other is online and i think that’s partially contributing to my anxiety. but also i guess i’m maybe afraid of a relationship? i feel like i tend to self-sabotage a lot, i get impulsive or overreact or let my anxiety take over and just mess things up for myself. i hate it.

i don’t really know if i should just leave things as they are or say something. i don’t want to add anymore stress to him or myself. these past (almost) 3 months have been really difficult for me for a whole load of reasons (i’m an international student, i’m staying with relatives that i don’t know super well and they’re not the cleanest people which is probably one of my biggest stressors rn, i can’t seem to find a job, i might not be able to get my adhd meds filled here, and being back in school after several years away + my adhd is not making any of this easier).

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