# Freedom paralysis

- URL: https://numo.ai/no/community/fuhfxbi/freedom-paralysis
- Language: no
- Author: @iamtheshopper
- Posted: 2023-11-27T21:14:48.518Z
- Updated: 2023-11-27T21:15:02.858Z
- Tag: question
- Comments: 1
- Likes: 2

so after four weeks of a teachers strike, or as the district simply calls it, 11 days of no school, because November in Portland’s School District is known as No School November already! My kids FINALLY hag gone back to school!   
Now the house is FINALLY quiet after a morning of the oldest son tormenting my youngest, and my youngest on a constant whine loop! NOT AT ALL ANNOYING 🤦🏽‍♀️😂🫣!!! But alas, they are gone for four hours and forty minutes! Yay!!!! And it’s a twenty minutes drive each way! So JUST enough time to do one or two things.  
I’ve been looking at my little journal book I’ve been writing in because I have intelligently decided to have my phone go into lockdown mode at 10 to make sure I do not remain on it when I should be going to bed, or at least be finishing getting ready for it. Especially with school back!  
I mean, they’re back until right before Christmas now! I don’t feel bad for them; so much as I do myself! When do I get my adhd sleep in break again? But honestly, I was spiraling out of control having no sense of organization, no sense of order to my day. So now I can have some normalcy. Except, I’m frozen. I have no idea where to start. How to start. Even a small part of me says, go take a nap! You deserve it! You’ve been through the thunder dome!  
My oldest had a friend over I was watching for the parents, a “play date,” and f\*\*king s\*\*t! I was cleaning the toy room before they went to bed. And under a pile of clothes is a broken chair of theirs (the kid size one for the table). It’s not just broken, the leg is shattered! I get an image of like some WWF wrestling going on, one of the boys gets a chair broken on his back as he’s walking, potentially my youngest as he was getting ganged up on by the other two. And I keep cleaning to find the rod, yes, the f\*\*king rod for the closet is pulled down! And I was screaming so loud for the dogs to hear me and howl, what the hell happened. And my oldest says all nonchalantly, “well, ok, you’re probably not going to believe me, but here’s the truth. Me and blank, were playing truth or dare. And he dared me to hang from the bar until it fell.” And I was, again high pitched, and “you thought this was a good idea?!” He said, “I guess I didn’t think it was a bad one?” 😵‍💫🤦🏽‍♀️  
So yeah, a piece of me wants to nap, I had Christmas lights I was fixing outside, and my youngest went outside and in a bit of anger at his brother yanked down the lights that were still hanging and good! I am just 😳😭, why! “Oh! He got mad and pulled it down.”  
So things I wasn’t expecting to have to do have been added to my list. And I just get frozen, unmotivated to do anything, and KNOWING they’ll be home again soon to start fighting again. And they’re SO codependent that they won’t separate and play alone. So they stick together like they’re Siamese twins, and just fight and torment each other, one tormenting physically, the other psychologically. And me getting it emotionally.  
So since this was SUPPOSED to be a post for a poll before I went on a tangent instead. When you get paralyzed by having time on your hands, what do you do instead? Do you stay focused to the tasks at hand? Do you do nothing? Do you end up doing something entirely different? 

## Comments (1)

### @zaicamchase — 2023-11-29T01:00:05.470Z

Wow I hear you! That is how it feels with my three boys! And my “time” …90% of the time gets interrupted by something or someone else. It is SUPER RARE for me to actually get a second away from work and the home to myself, but when I do I just fall back on the bed and finally just B R E A T H E!!!