Coworker shame

Question

I am an ICU RN. How do y’all deal with coworkers that harp on and define you by your adhd symptoms. I am always being told I’m too loud, have too much energy, need to take more or less medication, etc. I am also chronically underestimated. I’m not given tasks that are well within my wheelhouse bc people assume I can’t handle them. I struggle with time management but I always get my stuff done and typically leave my patients much better than I found them. How do I deal with the constant, non constructive criticism?

Midwest Lady · Answer

This won’t help your situation but I don’t share my struggles with co-workers & acquaintances. 
If I do something that screams ADHD brain, I laugh and say, ‘Well I have ADD.’  then immediately move on and away from the subject and people. 
Letting others know too much about my struggles typically results in unhelpful neurotypical advice and unfair judgements. 
I get on this app 2-4 times a week because this is a community where we can share without judgement and get neurodivergent advice.

BDSIngram😊 · Answer

Sqirr3lBr@in gave some good advice 😍 Others don’t understand so we have to kindly be clear about our needs and our wonderful capabilities, instead of focusing on the challenges. It is a little uncomfortable at first, but people that truly care will respect your requests 🫶🏼I learned a helpful phrase/reminder for me in those situations: What we allow, is what we teach…that was a lightbulb moment for me 🤯 You got this!! 💜

Sqirr3lBr@in · Answer

Open an honest dialogue with them about how it hurts your feelings, and undermines your confidence when they make fun, needlessly criticize or underestimate your capabilities. It can be tough at first, but I feel it keeps my anxiety down when I’m upfront about my feelings.

Coworker shame

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