Why do I always have to insert “sorry” into sentences? Sorry I can't, sorr

I'm not feeling well, sorry I would need... Sorry I exist 😩 I can't help but apologize for everything, what about you?

7 kommentarer

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crazyraccoon

i förrgår

I think having adhd leads to lots of broken promises and it becomes a habit. In my case, I actively try to restrain myself from saying sorry when it’s not necessary 😅

sonnek

för 3 dagar sedan

I‘d guess it has mostly to do with your upbringing and education and your family’s attitude towards asking for help. I do it, too, and I’d say it comes from what I learned about how to behave as a girl, and, in my specific case, from the shame my father felt every time he had to reach out to someone (because he has a serious problem with that). I’m trying to get over it and not to apologize for whatever - it’s easier to train this as first step in emails or messages, anything written. You could ask AI for positive phrases to use instead and then it’s just training 💪

spicy

för 3 dagar sedan

That’s a trauma response

maidiremaiför 18 timmar sedan

Can you explain better what you mean?

spicy för 17 timmar sedan

“Over-apologizing can be a trauma response because the nervous system learned that staying small, agreeable, and ‘taking the blame’ was safer than risking conflict, rejection, anger, or punishment. Even when nothing is actually wrong, the body may still react like it needs to prevent danger. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ becomes an automatic safety behavior — a way to reduce tension, avoid upsetting others, or make sure the relationship still feels secure.” “It doesn’t mean the person is weak or dramatic. It means their nervous system learned to scan for danger and take responsibility quickly, even when responsibility isn’t theirs to take.”

Lucy 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

för 3 dagar sedan

My parents always complain that I apologize for forgetting sth, they told me to do that when I was little and now they instead want a „I won’t forget it again“

spicy för 17 timmar sedan

Which is a set up for feeling shame. Just the nature of ADHD we will forgot things and not on purpose. Promising you won’t ever forget again is a set up for failing. I don’t promise things anymore that involve remembering. I say I’ll do my best and use strategies to help me remember like alerts on my phone or writing it down where I’ll see it. But I never “promise.” I will say that I do take responsibility but I can’t promise I will never mess up ever again because I’m human and there is not a single human on this earth that is 100% perfect. I have enough shame over this kind of stuff to last a lifetime and I refuse to add to it anymore. It’s a little bit like setting boundaries with people.

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