I’ve been recently diagnosed. I’m 56 and I’ve had such a hard time believing my life can or will be different than it always has been. It’s good to have a diagnosis and I’m having a hard time reconciling it with my lifetime belief that I’m just less than. My depression and anxiety seem to take over all the time. Anyone have any tips or positive insights?
Posts and comments here share personal experience — not medical advice. For treatment questions, talk to a clinician.
I guess it’s about challenging those very ingrained beliefs we have, sometimes I’m able to do this but sometimes not! I think apps like this help though, when we see someone else beating themselves up over something, I think it can make us realise how mean we are being to ourselves!
I was just diagnosed with ADHD and ASD 2 years ago at the age of 33 and I struggle with it on a daily basis. But it has helped me personally knowing what is happening in my brain and body. As well as knowing that my depression and anxiety are symptoms of ADHD & ASD. I am also treating both as well. And in the process of doing so I have been able to learn a lot about myself and how to cope with my symptoms so that I don’t spiral out like I used to do for far too long.
I’m 53 got diagnosed at 50…Lots of things make sense now, but it’s still hard to manage emotions for me…I’m overwhelmed all the time!!! But….we have to take the time and go through a “check list” of sorts while breathing …I feel the same as you much of the time as my anxiety/stress/depression turns into ANGER!… anyway, I’m trying to do this 2 small mm at a time! Hugs to you! ~ 2 mm Mindshift Momentum
Now that you have a diagnosis, you can let go of all the negative self talk you’ve done your whole life. Now you know it wasn’t a choice. You’re not lazy. You’re not weird in a bad way. You’re not any of the things you, or anyone else have told you or accused you of being. You are free of all of that! Own it. Walk with your head held high! Knowing is half the battle and learning wins the battle! You are already halfway there!
Let yourself mourn the life you could have lived. I went through this and I still am. I was diagnosed last year at 30. I always think about how my life could have been. But I try to think I wouldn't be where I am now without my past. And try my best to do what I can moving forward and except the diagnosis and start learning from it
It’s hard to come to terms with the thought that lots of things that were attributed to you as quirks or character flaws were just the fact that your brain processes differently and that you could have had a whole lifetime of not knowing and receiving help. It’s a lot to think through talking to a professional always helps.
It is a time of transition & learning after diagnosis. My recommendations: 1. Read one relevant ADHD article most days. (Web MD and Mayo Clinic both have good info you can trust.) 2. Don’t rush to change everything. KEEP what works for you and give new approaches a chance. 3. I initially kept my diagnosis private. I only shared it with my spouse, two kids, and my 3 sisters. 4. Keeping my diagnosis quiet initially, was the right choice for me. As I tried to accept and understand MY ADHD, I tried different ADHD meds, went to talk therapy to help me understand ADHD and me, tried ADHD tips & understand myself, I frequently fumbled & failed, with some successes. I discussed the fails and success only within my trusted group and my therapist. I didn’t discuss any of it with co-workers and friends . Both didn’t pay that much attention to my ups and downs because they had no idea what I was going through. 5. Some things helped me other things did not. What works is as individual as you are. 5. Medicine doesn’t make ADHD go away. If your current med makes you feel lousy, talk to your doctor and try another ADHD medication. (Give each medication a few weeks or months b4 deciding it doesn’t help.) Some ADHD coping tips will work for you, others will not. DO I SOUND DISCOURAGING NO! I WOULD NOT GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE PRIOR TO MY DIAGNOSIS, taking medication for ADHD and depression, and understanding why I do things the way I do. Once you have taken action, having a non-judgmental community, like this one, helps to feel ‘normal’ and understood.
What has helped me is to think about my personality traits and how ADHD enhances them. For example, I am highly empathetic, I have a strong sense of justice, and have a creative mind. Also, I am learning to be more compassionate to my past self, because there were some things I did not have control over or was not aware of them.