My partner doesn’t really understand my ADHD and I’m finding it overwhelming to start tasks without help, is there anyway I can talk to him about it to get help from him? I’m tired of the resentment and arguments we get into.. and I’m also tired of my doom piles.
Posts and comments here share personal experience — not medical advice. For treatment questions, talk to a clinician.
What I would do is, collect some authoritative sources of information about the symptoms of ADHD and how they can present. My go-to option in this regard is videos of lectures by Dr. Russell Barkley. He’s obviously qualified, one of the top experts on ADHD, and he’s a good speaker so the videos aren’t dry or boring.
Ask him to do the work to educate himself on the topic and see a therapist if that's accessible. A big mistake so many women do is doing the work for the men to get them to be supportive and then constantly hoping for more. Share how important this is for you and for your relationship together and then watch and see what he does. If he cares and is willing to take steps to do the work for the success of your relationship he will do it. If not, unfortunately you have your answer and I would walk away if he won't step up. Trust me it will save you trauma, heartbreak and regret in the long run.
Having ADHD can be very difficult for us and it’s easy to forget that it can be difficult for our partners too. Relationships require a lot of effort and patience even more so when we have this condition. Whatever you do, always be kind to each other.