Relationships

This is exactly what caused the demise of my marriage. Husband doesn't believe in adhd. He thinks I'm just lazy. He refuses to accept any other truth. Maybe your SO will go with you to your doctor. Sometimes if they hear it from a professional, they accept it better. My would not go but I always thought it was a good idea.

Thank you thank you thank you everyone!! For the first time in a long time I don’t feel alone in this🙏🏻💞☺️

It reminds us that there are more people having this problem. He has to laugh about it, fight over 😃

My husband is really super supportive. If we have a fight over my add behaviour, i send him a video from instagram. There are ton’s of these video’s, like: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsZqltShvqY/?igshid=MTc4MmM1YmI2Ng==

Omg I went through the same thing, the “you don’t care” ect. It took a huge fight for me to seek therapy where I had insight that even tho it wasn’t intentional I was putting in low effort and making him feel undervalued. However, I needed him to understand the root and the fact my adhd shows up differently than his. I’m inattentive so he will say things and I wouldn’t process and respond. I sent him an article that literally explained and validated both parties, and I finally got the apologies and the I didn’t understand at the time. Do we still clash, yes but we try to be understanding, patient, and speak with compassion. I’ve noticed setting goals and working out help tremendously. It’s not doing what you want to do to get the easy dopamine, I tend to invite the adhd paralyzation until I went mad enough to do something productive. I hope things get better and it’s like working out, it’s not linear. You will regress and transgress but the most important thing is not giving up and showing up for yourself

I remind my husband constantly “it’s not me it’s my brain”. He is neurotypical and doesn’t get it at all which is hard. My Diagnosis helped tremendously because now I know it’s my brain not me. I also drop little reminders to him about patience and if I am overwhelmed that I just need a few moments to try and gather myself back together. Overall communication as tacky as that sounds is the key other people in our lives do not understand what it’s like in our special brains 🫶🫶. Much love to you.

We see a therapist to help with communication. For me it was key to give him resources in the learning method he likes (podcasts) to learn more about the diagnosis and that I'm normal for a neuro divergent person. Oh, and we budget for a house cleaner every 2 weeks. It's $20/hr and they clean floors, baths, and the kitchen. It forces me to pick up so they can clean.

I am not in a relationship at the moment but I definitely can relate. Reminds of previous ones I had. :) I have no idea how to help you. But I believe communication is key and perhaps get a coach who can help you guys.