My grandpa passed away today at 4 and moms mad at me cause I’m not freaking out. We were told Thursday he wasn’t going to live much longer so I’ve had time to accept it. AITA for not crying or does my mom have to accept that I am different? He looked nothing like this Thursday he looked so malnourished and skinny it made me sick.
Posts and comments here share personal experience — not medical advice. For treatment questions, talk to a clinician.
I can feel you I equally did not feel the need to cry at some funeral/over deaths of some relatives or people I had to with more closely although their death shook me. Your mom has to accept everyone is reaction differently, while also everyone has a different relational connection to a person, if it is a member of the familiy!
I can feel you I equally did not feel the need to cry at some funeral/over deaths of some relatives or people I had to with more closely although their death shook me. Your mom has to accept everyone is reaction differently, while also everyone has a different relational connection to a person, if it is a member of the familiy!
So in the last 4 years I've lost my older brother. Both my surviving grandparents, not anymore, and my uncle and I also started working in EMS as a paramedic so I have been involved in the dying process for a lot of people. I've had to do a lot of. "There's nothing else we can do for him." Notifications and I've seen two people react to the same death in such wildly different ways that I thought to myself. Are we talking about the same guy? All that to say you are right it is perfectly okay to handle the death of a loved one in that way, but in this situation I would say that being right kind of takes a back seat. You know, clearly your mother is dealing with it worse than you are and she just needs some patience and some understanding and a gentle touch. So just try to avoid that conflict as much as you can and just try to be as supportive as you can be. Even though it's not exactly fair to tell you to stop mourning to take care of your mom, but just a little grace goes a long way
I also experience this anytime someone I know passes away. I always feel weird about it too, like I’m not doing the socially acceptable thing. It’s not that I don’t have emotions or care, I care a lot actually. I think people like us process emotions differently, I don’t usually have the ability to express them externally. I am also an aspie and the way I think tends to be blunt and logical. So when it comes to death and things that are out of my control I just tend to accept it as a part of life, like it sucks to lose someone but imo letting it consume you is much worse than just being stoic about it. I hope your family comes to understand, I think remaining calm could be a sign of emotional strength actually!