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staceyfoo avatar
staceyfoo
4
3 years ago

Messiness

Does anyone else have a really hard time keeping your house/car clean and don't really know why it's so hard for you? It's like I don't know how to clean or something. It's crazy. It's depressing.


102 comments
91

Posts and comments here share personal experience — not medical advice. For treatment questions, talk to a clinician.


i always knew  avatar
i always knew
1
1 year ago

Ditto


rollarotten avatar
rollarotten
36
1 year ago

Oh, yah. Since I was medicated for my newly diagnosed ADHD and the fog has lifted. I’m like what the f##k? When did it get this bad? I’ve been decluttering ever since. The Goodwill lady looks at me like I’m crazy because I’m there every other day dropping stuff off. I’m still not seeing a difference yet. Yes, that’s how much stuff I have.


Luckyme avatar
Luckyme
2
1 year ago

By FAR my biggest battle


Unknown avatar
Unknown
1
2 years ago

vlad@numo.so


Unknown avatar
Unknown
1
2 years ago

vlad@numo.so


Unknown avatar
Unknown
1
2 years ago

vlad@numo.so


sleepysquirrel avatar
sleepysquirrel
24
2 years ago

Yes


catnapsallday avatar
catnapsallday
12
2 years ago

Yes! And the decision making behind where to keep item ___ or whether to throw it out or not, is overwhelming. I think it’s a combo of executive function struggles + how boring tasks are D: (under-stimulated)


chelstar avatar
chelstar
3
2 years ago

Every single day


kel.des89 avatar
kel.des89
2
2 years ago

Every single day my friend. Try not to be too hard on yourself :) I am an obsessive cleaner and yet I find myself cleaning up the same messes everyday, never seeing lasting results .


Inspiredfae avatar
Inspiredfae
10
2 years ago

Absolutely! All the time.


itmeadhd avatar
itmeadhd
3
2 years ago

Yes absolutely. My entire life all of my spaces have been chaos.


ChiCoManBeAdhD avatar
ChiCoManBeAdhD
2
2 years ago

Honestly I clean my house constantly because of the kids. I'm never done it's other things that mess wit my adhd


Bzybee avatar
Bzybee
12
2 years ago

Having a hard time. What I want is a place for everything and everything in its place. I have a roommate who is extraordinary at cleaning and organizing. She motivates me to get rid of stuff I do not need. It's definitely a work in progress. My car is a bit dirty, but I did declutter the car. I did so because I'm taking a few days to visit family out of state.


msstarshine avatar
msstarshine
6
2 years ago

Yes! Why is this so hard?


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hshshsh


adhdmuggel avatar
adhdmuggel
9
2 years ago

This is our the most popular topic of argument in our relationship. Two kids work and proud of all the small tasks I don't forget and then comes.. Should have been done like that to be proper...


frogladyrhonda avatar
frogladyrhonda
2
2 years ago

Soo bad. I should been evicted or when kids younger them pulled. I just got on me f s and cleaned the floor to living room and misidentified of bedroom...well a walkway


Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
19
2 years ago

Yo


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hi


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hello


Crazydogmum  avatar
Crazydogmum
2
2 years ago

Absolutely! Its so easy to do small tasks, but its always 'i will do that later'.


chairladym avatar
chairladym
10
2 years ago

This is wierd but it helps me - i turn on hoarders and within about 1/2 hour I’m cleaning haha - i leave it on til I’m done - i also don’t try to do everything in one day like i used to because i would always fail!


chairladym avatar
chairladym
10
2 years ago

Yes - i get overwhelmed and then freeze and don’t do anything


teslavolt2023 avatar
teslavolt2023
4
2 years ago

Yes


adhdmama20 avatar
adhdmama20
3
2 years ago

Yes I can clean and clean it seems but I can’t get anywhere


Doom Piles  avatar
Doom Piles
3
2 years ago

It seems like everywhere I go a mess happens. Yes, I totally sympathize. I haven’t really found a slit ion but am working on organizing my truck with milk crates and may consider getting one or two of those things that hang on the headrest and hang over the back of the seat. As for my house? I am very slowly working on finding practical ways to use what limited space that we have to unclutter and simplify our living space. I am a cleaning lady and work for myself. Ok? Yet when it comes to my own home, I totally one hundred percent feel the same way as you do about cleaning. You are not alone. Good luck.


LauraCreative avatar
LauraCreative
19
2 years ago

Yup! Before diagnosis, I was incessantly asking myself (and then blaming myself, of course…): *why* on earth am I really good at a few things I like that are quite complex and creative, while I’m sooooo shit at the most basic things that we all need to just survive / for proper work/life hygiene?! I still find chores annoying, but now I feel less guilt for doing things in the way that works for me, rather than how most people do it - even if that looks and feels silly AF. Example: I have an ordered to do list on my bathroom mirror: 1) brush teeth; 2) mouth wash; 3) wash face; 4) apply face serum. As simple as it sounds, it helps me stay on task - and not walk around the house, toothbrush in mouth, ‘because I remembered I needed to do something else too’ Also, it’s normal that these tricks will lose their novelty. If it works for a while but then you barely even notice it, don’t be ashamed to swap it for another kind of reminder. Like a timer, a drawings-only to do list, audio instructions… Nothing is too silly if it works!


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Yo


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hi


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hello


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hello


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Yo


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hii


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Yo vulva


francisbacon avatar
francisbacon
13
2 years ago

I actually can‘t relate, because I struggle with OCD and compulsive cleaning. But I get where you come from and maybe I can give you some tips here: 1. Don‘t look at the mess with emptions and judgment - see it as it really is - a pile of clothes, a dirty pan, etc Try to disconnect the feeling of shame and get more into observing! 2. Filter the first step of cleaning smth - for example: the dirty pan - 1. step: take the dirty pan and put some water in it. That‘s the first step to cleaning the pan and suddenly it doesn‘t sound so frightening :) In general: try to organize the mess into tiny little pieces and don‘t be hard on yourself when you can‘t finish everything in 1 day! These things take time and it‘s ok if it‘s messy! You are not worse because of it :) You‘re doing great! <3 Hope this could help :)


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hello


Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
19
2 years ago

Hey


Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
19
2 years ago

Hi


Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
19
2 years ago

How are you?


Vova from Numo avatar
Vova from Numo
19
2 years ago

Yo


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hi


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hi vova


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hello


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hi vulva


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hi vulva


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hello vova


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hi vulva


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Test for vova


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
2 years ago

Hello


happygolucky avatar
happygolucky
2
2 years ago

My problem is I'll clean it and then I can't keep it that way until it seems overwhelming but I can't make myself do anything about it until it feels like it is literally crushing me.


littlebluebird avatar
littlebluebird
14
2 years ago

I used to call it my organized disorganized mess. Now it is just a huge disorganized mess


traction avatar
traction
4
2 years ago

Happy women is always messy ;). My wife has a mass at home, but we together regularly clean it


Unknown avatar
Unknown
1
2 years ago

Yes, and being a Virgp, I am driving myself crazy.


dozydrawers avatar
dozydrawers
5
2 years ago

Absolutely I get motivated to clean go to the shop to buy cleaning products and then dont know where to start so dont. I have the messiest house with the biggest collection of cleaning products


Unknown avatar
Unknown
2
2 years ago

I am the same it's so bloody hard I always day tomorrow 😩


Unknown avatar
Unknown
5
2 years ago

Same feeling here! Just disorganized though I have come to realize.


Unknown avatar
Unknown
1
2 years ago

I just think oh I’ll do it later and I never do and then next thing it’s a bloody mess and I panic!


madcat avatar
madcat
2
2 years ago

I’m such an OCD clean freak but for the past few months I just can’t. My poor house and car have taken the hit because of it. I hate it, it’s embarrassing. Sometimes the anxiety takes over. But normally I’m too tired and run down to care. Last week I physically could not bring myself to put away the groceries.


gypseeey avatar
gypseeey
2
2 years ago

Omfg! I’m guilty of the dreaded “bags” issue. Fill up a reusable bag with crap. Put it somewhere…. Never unpack it. Fill another reusable bag with random crap… put it down somewhere…. And so on. But then being able to find that blue hair bow that my 5 year old needed for school pictures in the dark at 6am in the bottom of one of said bags. Lol. It’s mental!!! I hate the bags!!! (But can’t stop) lol. Anyone else plagued by this??


kitkat93 avatar
kitkat93
17
2 years ago

I struggle with the housekeeping. What helps me is just to break it down into smaller chunks. So, I might clean the toilet one day when I feel the energy. Might vacuum carpets on a different day. Dust when the mood strikes. I just don’t make myself housekeep on any routine or schedule.


@esther avatar
@esther
4
2 years ago

This is me! I try to be patient with myself, but I'm so overwhelmed by the mess that I can't clean it


badhdbih avatar
badhdbih
2
2 years ago

Both and I open my front door just enough that me and the kids can squeeze in and out because it’s too embarrassing for me to let my neighbors see. My car, well I don’t have tinted windows so that is on display for all to see.


Noahsmom021714 avatar
Noahsmom021714
20
2 years ago

I feel like this is my BIGGEST struggle!! Luckily I have a pretty great boyfriend and a trusted friend who know how much of a struggle it is. They’re usually down at least once a week to come and help me clean or just be present while I clean. It helps keep me on task. Body doubling!! It’s been the biggest help for me when getting chores done.


femmebiotch avatar
femmebiotch
33
2 years ago

My car is a disaster area as a general rule. Having a kid who drops things everywhere does not help!


sjohn avatar
sjohn
18
3 years ago

Girllll my house is good but my car is …. My own personal hell lol


Unknown avatar
Unknown
1
3 years ago

Oh yes, it’s awful, at work everyone believes i’m such an organized person. And when I arrive home it’s a mess, and I want to clean, i love my clean apartment, but i just can’t seem to be able to find energy to do so


Garfiled41 avatar
Garfiled41
23
3 years ago

I’m very good at cleaning up and organising my things but I love my floordrobe . As for my work van it’s a constant embrasment as soon as get organised it’s a mess with in days ! I do accept my limits and so the cycle continues and I’m on here instead of doing what I was supposed too and put my stuff away in the living room so the kids can watch tv in the morning …


friscokid avatar
friscokid
10
3 years ago

I actually like cleaning and I still don’t . Cleanliness of our home is really the only thing in life that I can control. I hate feeling out of control, And yet the older I get the harder it is to even complete the basic chores. It’s like I’m scared of the washing machine or something. Lol. Frustrating


sirhenry avatar
sirhenry
17
3 years ago

Its because you only have motivation for short bursts and in between every little putting away is tedious and it accumulates fast.


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Hello


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Hello


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Yo


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Nice


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Nice


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Hey


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

True


kistan  avatar
kistan
4
3 years ago

If you could see my car right now you would agree that I'm on the same page as you.


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Hello


aliona :3 avatar
aliona :3
21
3 years ago

Hello


smevil333 avatar
smevil333
4
3 years ago

Yes! And it drives me crazy because I crave organization & structure but can never seem to attain it!


proatmediocrity avatar
proatmediocrity
22
3 years ago

Yes! I just moved into a new house, and my old apartment had one bathroom, and this house has 4, and trying to find a routine to clean them all has been really tricky! I’m finding a couple things that work though! I got bulk packs of cleaning supplies, and put separate cleaning supplies in each bathroom. As far as clutter, that’s a little trickier, but having specified areas for the clutter to live is helpful. I just leave a laundry hamper out in each room at all times to collect the stuff that accumulates in those rooms. It also makes it way easier to hide clutter before people come over, cause all I have to do is put the hamper in one room and close the door. For the car, I’ve started leaving grocery bags in the car instead of putting them under my sink, and then I use them to throw away trash whenever I feel able to. Finding ways around executive dysfunction is hard, but you’ve got this!


bacraw1213 avatar
bacraw1213
24
3 years ago

Car yes, house no. Cleaning is what I do to keep myself busy. This is especially the case when my daughter just wants to watch a movie


hairblowsnwind  avatar
hairblowsnwind
2
3 years ago

Yes and I don't really understand why it's difficult to do when I do start cleaning I start to feel very overwhelmed and it feels like I have so much to do. And then I start to feel disappointed in myself


fenfox  avatar
fenfox
14
3 years ago

I found it helpful to ensure that everything has its own place and to group items together, for example all of my art stuff goes in my desk drawers and so any extension of art stuff also goes there, like my label maker or tape because in my mind they are related. Ensuring everything has a dedicated spot helped me stop having a constant pile of random clutter in every room


ADHDNIGHTMARE avatar
ADHDNIGHTMARE
5
3 years ago

My car is a trash can/hoarders dream on wheels and my house is always a mess. I want it to be clean....I want to clean it....I just can't do it. I freeze and then just sleep to avoid it. It's a mix between my depression and the ADHD. My brain will think of all the things that need done....while I'm laying in bed not moving. I hate it


jota  avatar
jota
10
3 years ago

It’s called the “piling” method. As in making a pile of junk. It’s a common organizational “technique/” ((symptom)) used by people with ADHD. It makes sense at the time, but just ends up being clutter in the long run. Place something done, I’ll remember this later, Braun immediately jumps to something else, and we forget about it for weeks.


gimmegrace avatar
gimmegrace
6
3 years ago

I love having my space clean and organized but I just can’t get there. Is it my depression? It is my ADHD? Is it my chronic fatigue? Is it just me being lazy? I hate how it makes me feel 😭


Aquaholic21 avatar
Aquaholic21
21
3 years ago

House, kinda. Car, absolutely! I throw things on the seat, like “I’ll remember that tomorrow,” and suddenly I have a mountain of things.


j9hobie avatar
j9hobie
2
3 years ago

Yes!!! I dread starting and then once I do, I find all of these things I haven’t seen in forever and I get sidetracked.


chez avatar
chez
20
3 years ago

So much!!! It feels like “what’s the point” cause I’ll have to do it again tomorrow


Unknown avatar
Unknown
1
3 years ago

Constantly!


krosbo avatar
krosbo
10
3 years ago

I craaave organization. Like, really crave it. But I can’t get there. Everything is a disaster. I start an organization project and focus so hard on the details that everything else falls apart around me & my kids need me & work & then I can’t finish what I’ve started.


1baseballmomof3 avatar
1baseballmomof3
13
3 years ago

Yes! I just started using the Tody app for house cleaning. I have simple daily tasks than keep me sane and I can check them off to see progress.


unhingedmom avatar
unhingedmom
2
3 years ago

Yes :( so overwhelming and embarrassing


ceefoxx avatar
ceefoxx
4
3 years ago

Yes that much I now have a cleaner for 2 hours one day a week and it still looks like a bomb dropped


Julien avatar
Julien
20
3 years ago

Yeah, and it became less of an issue since I kinda settled on a „looks okay“ state and have a cleaning aid every other week for all the things I never find any motivation until it‘s embarrasing like wiping the floor and vacuuming the corners etc


monkeyotters avatar
monkeyotters
3
3 years ago

That’s me, but if it’s organized, I’ll never find what I need. I live with a dependent that has Down’s syndrome, who is a compulsive organizer, and she can’t remember where she put things or it too scared to admit she touched someone’s stuff. I don’t know if Downs Syndrome and compulsive organization is connected. It’s a humorous disaster haha.


urizen avatar
urizen
14
3 years ago

It happens to me that I clean and organize a room, move on to the next one, and if I come back… I feel it’s unfinished and I start over… so many times… tip: essential minimalism… fewer things, fewer possibilities, fewer decisions…


Firebird avatar
Firebird
2
3 years ago

Its so hard!!!


Carien avatar
Carien
23
3 years ago

To bad that someone once decided that it are mainly women who should do the household and tidying. I totally suck at it 😂


Carien avatar
Carien
23
3 years ago

Yes… it is eating my entire time away.. i am mom with adhd with 3 kids with adhd and a husband who does not admit that the kids probably have their adhd from both of us 😂


Unknown avatar
Unknown
13
3 years ago

I’m hiring a professional organizer who works with ADHD clients. Hope it helps. I can’t stand how cluttered and messy my apartment is.


GaraAdhd avatar
GaraAdhd
25
3 years ago

Yes most definitely!!!!


cathstar007 avatar
cathstar007
4
3 years ago

Oh my goodness. This really is my BIGGEST hurdle that I feel so much guilt over! It’s awful. I’m ashamed and feel terrible for my husband and kids who live with my disorganisation every day! Waaaa. I’m here to learn though! HOPEFULLY I can find something that works for me coz I really hate this!!


Godmoma avatar
Godmoma
5
3 years ago

My whole entire life! And the kicker? I'm great at helping other people clean, declutter, organize, etc


Linnorama avatar
Linnorama
20
3 years ago

YES! I cannot clean. Caused both by my ADHD and by bad habits passed down from my parents as a kid... I am so stressed out on it that I make it even worse to get started. Soooo. At the moment we have some clear areas in the house, but mostly just paths between the mess...


Gexfire avatar
Gexfire
2
3 years ago

Yes! I struggle with so many things, when I finally am able to clean the living space up (whenever that magically happens) it feels like I blink and everything's piled up again; that's overwhelming and often, also very frustrating because I think "I just cleaned!" I'm always at a complete loss at how the pile ups and dysfunctional clutter just reappear, the memory blips/time gaps are a struggle...


pikopiko avatar
pikopiko
3
3 years ago

I try minimalism. It help a lot with cleaning. But i’m still messy so consider myself messy minimalist. Its easier to find lost stuff compared to before as i will make a lot of mess then have to clean again. My house still messy. I have 4 plates. If it dirty then i have to clean it to use. No other option. Then it force me to do the cleaning but yeah. It took less than 10 minutes. So I’m happy. I job done😄


birdhouse avatar
birdhouse
2
3 years ago

Yes! I feel like once every few months I hyper focus on cleaning for a day or so but have so much trouble keeping up with the mess around my home in between those cleaning sessions.


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