I hate being me, advices needed

I genuinely think that I'm such a bad person to my most important people, and it's killing me when I keep hurting their feelings without even realizing it or doing it intentionally. I keep accidentally ghosting my mom on Instagram and I keep looking at the messages and seeing what she sent and eventually forgot to reply, it's like jumping into a rabbit hole and then coming out to forget why I jumped in the first place, and I know she'd trying so hard to support me but I always keep doing this and somehow still feel frustrated for not being understood when I struggle to actually look at what I'm doing isn't really doing any better ☹️ I'd appreciate it if you have any tips on how to stop hurting other people without realizing, I want this to stop happening

4 comments

Posts and comments here share personal experience — not medical advice. For treatment questions, talk to a clinician.

pizzettatime

13 days ago

Honestly, I don't understand why your mother should feel hurt by your lack of response to Instagram videos. Just explain to her that Instagram is a black hole for your attention, that you saw the video she sent, but that it would be better to talk about it live or on a call, because you forget to reply to her right then and there. I explained to my mother that I don't often open her Facebook links because I get stuck there, and I asked her if she could tell me about it verbally. You try it too!

elora.brgc

13 days ago

I find what is said truly brilliant, that it describes a lot of what I think, but I'd like to add something: discuss your problem with these people in the sense of telling them that when you hurt others, you don't see it, but do it at a calm and composed moment. Discuss it with them and they will already better understand past and future situations. You can ask them to warn you when something displeased them so you can discuss it with them and understand. Because of this, your brain will automatically absorb the mechanism, and you will no longer make mistakes. I hope my advice helps you!!

emmB@

13 days ago

Hi, I’m sure you’re not a bad person for your loved ones ! Proof : you worry for them and about the way you treat them. That being said, I see what you mean ; maybe, just explaining to your mom how it is for you would help her not getting hurt ? If she understands that it’s not your intention to ghost her, and that you still care very much about her even if your messages are infrequent, it would probably reassure her ; don’t you think ?

Lucy 🧡💛🤍🩵💙

13 days ago

What you’re struggling with seems to be object permanence (forgetting sth exists if you’re not confronted with it) and a lot of people with ADHD struggle with that, me included. It helps me to put reminders somewhere I often pass by just as a placeholder to keep the thing in mind. Remember it’s not your fault, you don’t love these people any less and just to put things into perspective for you and them: I regularly forget to eat so how important sth is has nothing to do with it

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