Disappointment

Omg I feel u hard on this one. My little guy 7yrs old hasn’t seen his dad for 4yrs now they talk occasionally on the fone when his father can be bothered!!! I used to be so emotional about it for the little guys sake but then it turned into so much anger and rage that it was effecting all 4 of my kids. If I ever even say to the ex can u please not tell the little guy ur gonna call if ur not please it’s so hard emotionally for the little guy an bag he flips off the handle and hangs up. It’s taken me 4yrs to finally say u know what I’m not making excuses for him anymore or lying to my son because his father is so incompetent and that my son will eventually find out for himself when he gets older. It’s so hard an unfair of the kids

Go to a semi public space like a park, (just enough people to make it public and not add further anxiousness) walk or sit on a bench. If you can visually focus on something else, during confrontation/talk time, it really helps finding the correct words. feelings and meaning of words are overwhelming enough, over analysing body language is really not helping staying calm... Tough it sounds awkward, that's the pattern I have found to help me most during several situations. Last relationship fight got resolved whilst sitting in different rooms 😅

If there's *any* chance of abuse, meet in a public space.

I agree, try making a draft of what to say first. Always protect yourself when abuse is possible… and maybe consider sending it in email form? Something written so there’s documentation of your communication with him. At the very least, just keep track of your conversations (date, time, general topic discussed). Hope this helps and sending love!

It’s hard to focus on what you want to say in the moment, as our brains process 160k conscious thoughts a day while majority only process half of that. Write it out as a draft and edit it. It will help you.